"Self-reflection is the school of wisdom."
~Baltasar Gracián
In the realm of Ayurveda, healing isn’t just about treating symptoms; it’s about uncovering the root cause of our imbalances. As I embark on my personal Ayurvedic journey, I’ve come to understand the importance of delving deep into the core of my being to find the root cause of my imbalances.
I realize that part of my root cause is that I have somehow lost myself over the last year. It has been a shock to my system to have unravel as I have but if I look back on last year, the pieces start to make sense. I’ve experienced a whirlwind of changes that have left me feeling adrift. From uprooting my home to transitioning my office space and shouldering additional responsibilities, the upheaval has taken its toll on every aspect of my life.
Moving homes was a necessary step towards reclaiming my sense of self, but the process was more taxing than I anticipated. Physically draining and emotionally exhausting, it unearthed layers of stress and uncertainty that I hadn’t fully acknowledged. One has to figure out the finances, boxes, packing the boxes and then cleaning the space! Never mind the going through the countless things we can acquire as humans and what we want to keep and not keep.
Similarly, relocating my office brought about its own set of challenges. Leaving behind familiar routines and connections, I found myself grappling with feelings of displacement and disconnection, but the change was beautiful and blessed.
Amidst these changes, I threw myself into my work and other commitments, neglecting my own well-being in the process. As the months passed, I watched as my health steadily declined, my self-care practices becoming hollow rituals devoid of meaning. It wasn’t until I found myself facing a health crisis that I realized the extent of my neglect.
I had spent so much time dedicating to the growth and sustainability of my business and to the current RN patients I take care of. However, I totally forgot to take care of myself and despite the fact that I was still doing practices, towards the end of last year I realize they had become unconscious habits in which I was going through the motions. My mind started to become much more unstable without these Sadhana practices and then my diet started to also become altered. The herbs I took were sporadic, random, and eventually, I ended up in my own health crisis.
Faced with the consequences of ignoring my body's cries for help, I knew that I needed to take decisive action.
So now I am my number one rogi and patient. Turning to Ayurveda, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery in India. You can read my first blog post about my journey here. Determined to uncover the root cause of my imbalances, my first step in arriving to Delhi was addressing the imbalance of Vata within my body, seeking solace in the ancient practice of Shiro-abhyanga.
The experience was nothing short of transformative, offering me a glimpse into the depths of my being and the sources of my struggles. As I surrendered to the healing touch of Ayurveda, I felt layers of tension and stagnation begin to unravel, paving the way for a profound sense of release.
In the stillness of meditation and the gentle rhythm of breath, I found clarity and insight, guiding me towards a deeper understanding of myself and my journey. It’s amazing to me how I have been able to achieve these releases in an unconscious state so easily with one treatment : I have been consciously attempting to let go so hard in my waking state. However, of course, the more we have desire and attachment to action or outcome of an action, it is that much more difficult to achieve.
With each passing day, I move closer to uncovering the root cause of my imbalances, embracing the wisdom of Ayurveda as my guiding light on this path of self-discovery. It truly has its own grace.
-Amita
